I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
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You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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