I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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