ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize