We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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