call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
