Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
