Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him