i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize