it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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