also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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