How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
