I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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