God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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