Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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