Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I stole a fireplace last night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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