Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
