are you still at the devil's house?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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