hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We are all done wearing pants today
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
