yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
