just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
