True but thats because hes a fetus.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
