She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
