Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
