we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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