last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
