sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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