we're blogging at a bar
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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