Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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