We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
from now on my penis is your penis
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize