escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
