Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
