Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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