Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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