Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
