Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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