What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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