I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
