you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
