Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
