Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
