Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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