On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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