i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants