he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
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I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms