Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
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You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
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Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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