If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
my poor anus
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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