So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
