She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
