maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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