I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Randomize