This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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