The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
