Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize