Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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