Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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