I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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