how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
