I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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