there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
