Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
